I've been kinda quiet this week. Have you ever had SO MUCH to say that you don't know where to begin so you just don't say anything at all? Well, I guess that's where I am right now. I have SO MUCH to say regarding Haley, this pregnancy, my gestational diabetes, my fibroid, just to name a few things.
Sometimes it's nice just to be quiet. I have been busy with the boys, busy learning more about gestational diabetes, busy trying NOT TO WORRY about this pregnancy, busy trying to manage my KILLER HEADACHES, complete exhaustion, and moodiness from my body adjusting to a no sugar, low carb diet, ......just been busy.
It has been quite the roller coaster since the day of our ultrasound. I have to admit that a few days in there, I had actually convinced myself that Haley was gone (various reasons for this) , I was actually mourning her. I finally just gave it ALL to God. I got on my knees and prayed so hard. SO HARD. And I cried a lot. I had one or two emotional breakdowns (DAMN PREGNANCY HORMONES, NO SUGAR DIET, AND GOOGLE SEARCHES!! and NO I am not doing anymore internet searches) and I felt SO MUCH BETTER after I let it all out and especially after I gave it all to God.
God really is amazing. I DO BELIEVE Haley and I will be just fine. It might be scary. It might be hard. But she WILL be in our family (she already is).
I HAVE to believe.